Sins For Thought Universe Snippets
by Sev-chan
Summary: Everything I didn't put in the actual story is going to be here. Things I wanted to write but didn't get around to see happen. Spot/Mondo Jack/David so on and so forth. reviews are greatly welcome, I just wanted to share these other stories as well.
1. ¿Cómo se dice, yo te amo?

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't flame, don't sue.

¿Cómo se dice, yo te amo? _(How do you say, I love you?)_

_(Random snippet #1 Mondo/Spot)  
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Mondo was leaning against the door frame watching Shawn as he slowly began to wake up. He loved watching Shawn when he woke up, he'd take forever just stretching and blinking. That's what he liked the most. Shawn would yawn and his arms would stretch upwards arching his back, he'd sigh contently then search the room for him.

Mondo found himself smirking. "Enjoy yourself?"

Shawn seemed to contemplate for a second, "Maybe."

Mondo frowned, "Maybe?"

The blankets pooled around his hips as he arched an eyebrow, "Yeah, maybe….."

It was odd, but he felt something strike the center of his chest from the inside as he stared at him. He'd never wanted him so bad, but he didn't want it to show to the boy. He continued to stare, then went back to smirking as he shut off the lights and walked over to the bed. He shoved Shawn down onto the bed and started biting down at the junction where neck met shoulder.

"Dear god," rushed out Shawn.

"Damn fucking straight bitch," mumbled Mondo.

It didn't take long for Shawn to yank off Mondo's shirt he left it on the pillow next to him. There was almost nothing he loved better then Mondo's scent, it was so damn addicting. It was so inviting, so comforting, the complete opposite of how Mondo was. It didn't matter who was wearing it, his mind would travel to him. That amazingly toned and perfect bronze tan. He shivered.

He took the opportunity to lick Mondo's neck from collar bone to jaw-line. The older boy groaned and slid the blanket down and Shawn reached for Mondo's belted jeans. Mondo paused and watched in the dim light as Shawn undid his belt and unzipped his pants. Shawn glanced up at Mondo who's face he could barely see.

"What?"

"Am I dreaming? Because you've never been so……" he shrugged not sure how to word it.

"If you try an' read into this you're a …a. " he frowned in thought.

"Gift horse in the mouth?" nodded Shawn.

"Exactly," he clutched Shawn's jaw and crushed their mouths together.

It was mildly rough starting, but after a few minutes of grinding hard against each other. Shawn finally managed to yank off Mondo's loose jeans and little was said or expressed. Mondo took the lead, that's how it always was. Licking the ridge of his ear trailing his tongue down the crook of his neck, usually, his hands were sliding down the length of his body so slowly. It was so insanely perfect.

"Mondo….?" Shawn whispered into his neck.

"Un," the older boy stopped thrusting, frowning at Shawn, "what?"

"uh-uh, I just………," Shawn told himself it was now or never, but it still came out very quiet, "I'm..in love, with you……."

The frown was gone, and Mondo found himself just staring down at the younger boy. It was just the two of them in the dead of night, he was in a strange mood tonight, and he had this feeling that this was probably a very important thing for Shawn. He looked very unsure, Mondo found himself smiling gently in front of him for the very first time.

"Thanks Shawn."

Shawn shuddered as Mondo went back to what he'd been doing. Wave after wave, intense pleasure, this was it, this had to be the most important moment of their relationship. It hurt, there was probably never going to be a moment better than this. That was going to be the closest thing he'd ever hear Mondo say how he felt about him. He felt himself reaching that point, he clutched desperately at the blankets.

They lay there breathing heavily and just as Shawn found himself on the edge of falling deeply asleep Armondo whispered into his ear.

Shawn smiled, he could honestly die happy now……

-X-X-X-

A/N: I was really in this strange mood where I wanted a Mondo/Spot moment.


	2. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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(Random snippet #2 Shawn/Tony)

Shawn clutched the letter to his chest after Anthony left. It was his birthday after all, so he could do what he wanted. It was his first real birthday party, Itey, and Raffle-Ticket were sitting in his living room playing the video games. Bumlets was in the kitchen with his mother getting something more to eat. No one would notice him sneaking off to his room.

Carefully he shut the door to his room and locked the door. He flung himself onto his bed and opened the letter. He really wished Anthony would just forgive him, but he knew that it was probably best if Anthony stayed as far away from him as possible.

He scanned each line slowly it took him almost ten minutes, he just kept reading it over and over. It was three pages front to back of Anthony talking about how he felt. Things in their relationship that had driven him crazy, the way he'd ignored him. Shawn wasn't sure if Tony was trying to make him feel guilty or help him realize what he'd been doing wrong so he could avoid it in future relationships.

That's what made him depressed, it took him almost three weeks to get over the initial depression. He wasn't sure what he would have done if Itey hadn't been there for him. Well, fuck Tony for having so many people to rely on. Fuck Tony for making him feel this way. Fuck Tony, for being able to cope with this so smoothly. Just, fuck him……for making him love him…...

He heard knocking on his door, he sighed and slid the note under his pillow and got up and flung his door open.

"Yes?" he sent Itey an annoyed look.

"Your mom wants you to do the cake now, before Bumlets eats the rest of the food," he glanced around the room.

"What?"

"So what did he have to say?" Itey shut the door behind him.

Shawn glanced at his pillow then back at his friend, "I think he's still in love with me….."

"That's bad?"

"No, but, fuck I don't know, I feel confused. It's like he wants me to know he doesn't hate me or anything, but he just can't be with me," Shawn sat down on the edge of his bed.

"But he wants to be?" Itey leaned against the door.

"That's – I don't know!" he flung his hands in the air. "He said shit about us being together not being a waste and that in a few years I'd know it. And that he loved me……."

"Well who wouldn't?" Itey smirked.

Shawn arched an eyebrow, "I know all dudes get curious at some point, but God now's not the time to start experimenting."

"Stupid," Itey laughed and stood up straight and opened the door, "come on they're waiting- and I've never been curious."

Shawn laughed as Itey shoved him out the room. Later on that evening the two of them were laying down outside in the back yard on fold out chairs. The stars were so bright out for some reason. Everyone had gone home around nine-thirty leaving the two of them alone for two hours now.

"What're you thinking, you haven't said anything for over ten minutes," mumbled Itey, starting to doze off.

"I need one of three things," muttered Shawn.

"……hm?"

"Tony, drugs, or Mondo, in order of least detrimental to myself," he paused waiting for Itey to answer.

He glanced over finally and realized he'd fallen asleep, he supposed he should get him something to keep him warm. He got up and walked inside, his mother was a sleep on the couch……the TV was off. For some reason that was oddly a comfort to him, he grabbed two blankets and placed on his mother then went back outside and put the other on Itey.

Shawn sighed, it's not like he wasn't grateful, he just wished he had someone important to spend it with. He couldn't do this, he needed to do something, something bad for him. He got back up and walked to the front of the house he'd kept half a pack of cigarettes in his room just for such occasions. He just needed to clear his mind of everything. Of Anthony, of Mondo…….especially of them…..

He found himself walking, down the street, around the block, down the next, and back again. He was working on his third cigarette when he found someone standing in his driveway. His heart skipped a beat, pulsing quickly, he put out his cigarette and took a deep breath.

"What're you doing here Tony?" he checked his watch, "It's late."

"I know, I shouldn't have come, but I just……….." he looked desperately up at him.

"I love you….."

"I love you too….."

They both looked away, neither sure what to do. Shawn knew that Anthony was going to find someone amazing to spend the rest of his life with, it just wasn't going to be him. It was a fact he'd drilled into himself. He just wasn't good enough for him, Anthony loved him too much to try and change the person he was. The person he couldn't be with, the one who'd dragged him down.

"………." Shawn glanced at him.

"I have to go, my mom's going to kill me," he moved to go to his car.

Shawn caught hold of his wrist and pulled him closed and kissed him, this was what he'd wanted. That one last kiss. He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but when they broke apart he was sure an eternity had passed.

"I gotta-"

"Go- I uh, yeah, know…….bye Anthony," he reluctantly let go of his hand as he walked away.

"Bye Shawn, happy birthday………" he looked just as reluctant, but let go anyway and drove home.

"Shawn, go to bed, it's late."

He turned and found Itey standing on the porch, blanket wrapped around himself.

"Yeah," he headed for the door, "happy birthday to me……."

-X-X-X-

A/N: I really really wanted them to have a last goodbye. (Shawn to have that last significant moment of intimacy he craved but didn't know what to do at the time)


	3. Getting Over Her

Getting Over Her

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(Random snippet #3 David/Jack)

David glanced down the hall and once he felt the other two couldn't hear he spoke, "Sarah told me to tell you it's over, she's been ignoring you on purpose."

"She's been what?!" yelled Jack.

"It's what she does Jack, she finds a guy, dates him for a bit, dumps him," David watched Jack's face, he wanted to ask if they could remain friends, but didn't think it was the right time yet.

Jack was the first guy he'd made friends with. Sure there were acquaintances, but it just wasn't the same as what he and Jack had. It was real. There was never any fake small talk to fill the awkward silences, simply because they didn't exist with the two of them.

"She's cheating on me ain't she?" Jack stared up at David.

David shrugged a shoulder, "Hard to tell, I haven't seen any guys come by yet."

"Not that it really matters…."

"I mean, did you really like her? Jack, no offense, but my sister's a -"

"Bitch, I know," Jack nodded, "I did hate the way she talked about you behind your back."

"She did do it a lot……" David found himself staring.

"To everyone……" Jack turned.

The two of them stared at one another.

"You're a good guy Jack, you deserved somebody better than her," David felt his face heat up.

Jack smiled, "Yeah, I do…..Davey?"

"Hm……." David didn't know how to calm the shade down.

"Thanks, I mean, you're an amazing guy too," Jack liked how red David had turned.

"I never said amazing," Jack suddenly seemed too close for comfort.

"But…..?" Jack nudged him, not realizing that he kept inching towards David.

David nudged him gently back, "You're an amazing guy Jack…….You're not going to stop talking to me because of her are you?"

Jack blinked, "Never, hell you and I spent more time together alone then _all _the time she and I spent together……."

Neither of them were sure why, but it suddenly felt like the two of them were crammed into a small box together. It suddenly felt very hard to breath and neither of them wanted to take a deep breath. Both very afraid they may suffocate.

Then David did something he never thought he'd do. He leaned forward closing what little space they had between them. It just felt right. There was no sound, no sight of anything else that may have existed, just them. Just him kissing Jack……kissing…… Jack……

David pulled away abruptly, "Oh my god, Jack- I didn't-"

Jack's eyebrows were raised. He seemed surprised for a moment, then just tugged David back and continued kissing him. It was…..different. Very different. Not bad different, just different. Jack knew the bathroom door was just at arms reach, he groped for the door and found the handle. They pulled away abruptly as Jack yanked David in with him.

"Jack what are you doing?" David glanced as Jack shut the door.

"I have no idea, but……." they stared at each other for a second.

David felt like every fiber of his being was ringing, "I don't know what to think."

"You think _I_ do?" Jack finally looked away, but was only met with David's reflection in the mirror.

David sighed, "Kiss me again."

Jack laughed arching an eyebrow, "What?"

"Just do it Jack."

Jack really didn't want to, mainly because he knew he was way too intrigued by David. He paused in thought, that right there scared him. His interest in the other boy it was new. He cast his eyes right back around and stared him straight in the eyes.

"Fine, if just to, you know…." he scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah, exactly…." said David, nodding.

They hesitated for a moment, then Jack just moved in. It was different in a way, Jack couldn't explain it, but it was nice……It didn't feel anything like kissing David's sister. Because when he thought about it their relationship had really just been about sex. Not that he minded all that much, because he'd never actually been in love with her to begin with………he felt himself smile. He stopped and realized that this was probably in bad taste.

Suddenly the two of them started to slide down the sink counter.

"-ow crap," Jack's hand flung to his eye as David had tried to land his hand against the counter and missed.

"Oh god, sorry, I was aiming for the counter, I thought I was going crash into you," he tried to take a look.

"It's fine, its fine, fuck it hurts. Um I'm gonna head back to the living room, you know, before they start….thinking strange stuff," said Jack as he stood.

"So……what about….."

"Um, deal with it some other time? I don't know, I'm a little confused," Jack chanced quirking a small smile.

David smiled also, "I can deal with that, um Jack?"

"Yeah Davey?" asked Jack as the two of them got up.

"I know this might sound bad but, I'm glad you and Sarah aren't together anymore," David stood and leaned against the sink.

Jack suddenly found himself flashing a bright smile as he continued rubbing at his eye, "I know, me too."

David stared at the closed door for a moment and waited for a second before sinking back to the ground, "I have no idea," he laughed to himself running a hand through his hair, "about what I'm doing anymore."

-X-X-X-

A/N: So, that was what happened between them that day.


	4. On Fine Wire

On Fine Wire

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(Random snippet #4 Spot and Itey on the job )

They had just closed and it was him and Itey closing the place for once. The two of them had volunteered to close and for once the manager let them work a shift together. For some odd reason none of the managers liked letting them work together. Neither could figure out why, they always got out half an hour early when they got the chance to close together.

It was a holiday and the place had been a wreck. You think people would be more well, not slobs. Spot shuddered as he pulled his hand away from the gum under one of the tables. Itey ran the register and he usually made the food. He was messy but very fast at it and almost never got an order wrong, Itey on the other hand was very slow at making food and very neat. Also, Spot was technically banned from the register by half his co-workers. Apparently he was bad at customer service.

Spot couldn't see how, half the customers couldn't stop talking to him. He either constantly got hit on or caught up talking about sports. The bathroom door opened and Itey walked out.

"How hard is it to actually get it _in_ the toilet? I swear they're missing on purpose," Itey shivered and carefully peeled off his three layers of gloves.

"You're fucking telling me, I just stuck my hand in some fuckers gum," he walked over to the sink and poured hand sanitizer in his palm.

Itey walked to the back and turned on the radio. It wasn't exactly their brand of music, but the night shift manager had already forbidden them from changing the station. So they had to make do, because when it came down to it bad music was better than no music at all.

"Oh oh, it's your song!" laughed Itey as Spot started to do a fake little jig.

It was sort of a running joke, as it was one of the dayshift manager's favorite songs. She'd been trying to sing it and Spot had pointed out she was singing the lyrics wrong. An hour later Spot had been caught singing it while making food during a rush.

"At least I didn't get caught singing my heart out mopping to You Belong With Me," said Spot laughing.

"You know you want to sing it," Itey headed into the prep area to wash his hands.

Spot arched an eyebrow and waited a second before he smiled and started singing to himself and continued cleaning the lobby. He picked up trays, wiped down tables, and re-organized chairs. Itey was busying himself with dishes as Spot started sweeping as the song was coming to an end.

_/It's hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, because my dreams are bursting at the seams./_

Spot chose that moment to look up and found Itey laughing as the manager stood watching him, "That song is way too perky for you."

"Goddamnit," Spot glared as he swept the bits of trash and food into the dustpan.

"Language, I'm done in the office, you guys are usually _done_ by now," he glanced at the wall clock.

"Yeah well if you'd let us pre-close we'd be done by now," Spot headed for the trash can in the prep area.

"Done in here, you?" asked Itey drying his hands as the sinks drained.

"Trash left, help me before the douche-bag has a heart attack," said Spot reaching for the trash bin.

"You've got ten minutes," said the night manager.

"Yeah yeah, we got shit to do too," yelled Spot as they headed out the door.

"Language!"

Itey smiled as he headed out after Spot, "He's going to write you up again."

"Fire me for all I care, cause he's an ASSHOLE," he finished loudly on purpose hoping Ray heard him.

"We're doing this for the money," Itey held up the dumpster lid as Spot chucked bag after bag in.

"So……..you hear from Rollercoaster?" Spot lit up a cigarette once he was done.

"No, nobody has," Itey glanced around and then gave in and lit one too.

"So.….just me then?"

"What?!"

"Yeah, he's sent me like twelve letters," he pulled a folded envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to Itey.

Itey stuck the cigarette in his mouth and opened the letter and scanned each line carefully, "Spot have you read this?"

"Shawn," he corrected.

"Shawn, yeah. Spot seriously?" Itey pulled the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Of course I have, I just don't know what to do, I wanna write him, but uh….." he took a deep inhale of smoke and slowly exhaled.

"You shouldn't," stated Itey.

"Exactly," Spot glanced at his watch, "It's just hard not to."

"You haven't, have you?" asked Itey putting out his cigarette and giving Spot the letter back.

"Not yet, but you saw what he wrote."

"Pretty sick," said Itey grabbing the trash bin, "and you shouldn't."

"It's not sick, its'…….romantic…….in a fucked up way," Spot dropped his cigarette to the ground also.

The manager was standing at the door, "It took you eight minutes to take out the trash?"

"Hey, we're entitled to a smokers break, you don't wanna break the law do you?" Spot arched an eyebrow at him as Itey wheeled past them with the trash bin.

"Are either of you even eighteen?"

"That's a whole 'nother story and very irrelevant," said Spot waving his hand dismissively.

"Just clock out already," he seemed un-amused.

"You sweet talker you," quipped Spot heading for the register and hit the clock out button.

Itey came up and also clocked out. The two of them walked out the front door and waited for Ray to shut and lock the doors.

"So, Shawn, you need a ride home, you live across town an' all," he shrugged his jacket on and unlocked his car door.

"Uh no, I can walk," said Spot abruptly as pulled another cigarette out.

"I could use a ride," said Itey raising his hand since the van was in the shop.

"Yeah, actually, I got some place to be," he waved nonchalantly and got in his car and drove away.

Itey's mouth dropped and then he turned and smiled at his friend.

"What?" Spot glared.

Itey just continued to smile mouth still hanging open.

"What damnit?"

"Oh my god," Itey laughed.

"Seriously, you're pissing me off," Spot started walking.

"You mean you _didn't_ catch that?"

"Shut up and help me figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do about Mondo."

"Of course that's what you're thinking of, Spot he's in _prison_," Itey tugged his zipper up.

"In prison, thinking of _me_," Spot paused, "that sounds bad."

"Ignore the letters and move on already," they crossed the street.

"You saw what he wrote, he's sorry, he misses me. Itey, no one else on this planet has ever wanted me as much as he has."

"He had a messed up way of showing he wanted you."

"God-damn-it-Itey, what the _hell_ am I _supposed _to do?! Mondo's in prison, yeah! Anthony didn't want me after all that _bullshit _we went through together, but Mondo does!" Spot feeling so very frustrated pulled at his hair roughly.

Itey stared wide-eyed for a moment.

"There's nobody else out there for me………" he crouched down to the ground to pick up the cigarette he'd dropped, but didn't get up.

"Spot……" Itey wasn't sure what to say for one of the first times.

"Go home without me, I just- need to be alone," came Spot's hoarse voice.

But Itey didn't leave, he stood there not saying anything at all. He knew that Spot really didn't want to be alone to calm down, he wanted to be alone to just make himself feel worse. When Spot use to do that it usually lead him to doing something very, very, stupid. That was just how he dealt with his emotions….poorly.

"People want you Shawn, you're just ignoring them……"

Spot stared up at him his face so very unclear about what he was feeling. It switched finally to something akin to uncertain and untrusting. Slowly he stood up and suddenly looked so very angry as he started walking again.

"Ray does _not _like me," stated Spot.

Itey smiled, "I beg to deferrer."

"What ever….."

"You're just in denial."

"Your face is in denial……."

The two of them continued walking home in the dark together, both avoiding what had happened. At least for now.

-X-X-X-

A/N: And of course Spot continued to not ignore Rollercoaster's letters.


	5. Not So Falling In Love

Not So Falling In Love

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(Random snippet #_5_ Co-worker party at Ray's only kind of not as random since this and the next one were spawned off of #4 )

It was late and Spot was sure he hadn't been this drunk in ages. Four shots of Tequila Rose and three bottles of eight percent beers were in fact his enemy. He hadn't had this much to drink since before Mondo went to jail. Itey finally decided that liquor may not have been the best way to deal with all of Spot's problems. He slowly stood up and navigated his way through Ray's small, but oddly inviting house. Ray invited everyone to his place for a barbeque after work making sure both he and Itey would come by bribing them with a shift together.

He placed his hand on the wall sliding it along as he made his way down the hall around the corner. He pushed the door open and turned on the light, kicking the door close behind him.

"That was a mistake," he quickly muttered to himself and he flipped the toilet lid up marveling for a moment that Ray had the decency to clean it before his co-workers came over.

He thought about how bad it was going to be tomorrow and then threw up pink mush four or five painful times in a row. He flushed the toilet and took a few deep breaths. Turning on the sink he swished some water in his mouth for a few seconds and spat. He crouched down and looked under the sink and found a bottle of mouthwash.

"You always dig around in peoples bathrooms?" Ray stood at the door, which he could have sworn he shut.

"You fucking knock before you open a closed door to the bathroom?" he poured some Scope into his mouth and did some more swishing.

"Hey, in my defense it wasn't locked," he smiled and for a brief moment Spot paused he felt something weird in his chest, he chalked it up to the tequila.

He spat into the sink and started drinking water from the sink and then turned it off, wiping his face off with the back of his hand, "I know Itey keeps saying it, but do you really have a fucking thing for me?"

"Fuck it, I think everybody _but_ you knows, an' why you keep calling G, Itey?" he didn't seem the least bit awkward by the statement.

"You fucking want to pronounce his name? And don't change the subject," he stood up straight staring steadily as he could manage.

"Shit, look I figured you were straight so, you know whatever," he shrugged he always spoke with that thug-esque manner, something Spot found oddly comforting.

"I'm not some run of the mill fag or anything, but I'm not straight, not that it's any of your business," Spot really had no idea why he felt like he had to say something.

"No offense, but you don't come off as gay," he leaned against the door, hoping no one needed to pee anytime soon.

"Well shit neither do you," Spot glared he wanted to leave now.

"……you want a joint?" he jerked his head in the direction of his room.

Spot arched an eyebrow, "You are so fucking different then you are at work."

"Home and work are two different places," he pulled a joint from his pocket and lit it, "at work I have to be a hardass make sure shit gets done, here, I can relax.

Spot watched him inhale and found himself reaching for the small window in the shower and opened it.

"You afraid of the smoke or something?" he looked amused and that annoyed Spot.

"No," he made sure to sound offended, "I took a lot of shit and smoked a little too much, I don't want to get back in the habit."

"I feel ya," he took a long drag, held it in for a few seconds and exhaled before putting it out and stuffed it back into a small Altoids tin in his pocket, "….do you not like me?"

"I think you're an asshole," said Spot bluntly.

"Assholeness aside," he arched an eyebrow.

"I guess you're kinda hot," he shrugged, it really bothered him that his heart was starting to race.

"Kinda?"

"Don't ask me! I mean hell, what do you think of me? 'Cause trust me, there's nothing special here," Spot found himself making frantic hand gestures.

He took a step forward very much sure of himself and pulled Spot in and kissed him firmly. Spot found himself initially in shock, but then found himself very desperate for the attention. He wanted this, maybe not with this person, but he craved contact he missed it so much. He let his hands curl around Ray, his strong back, his shortly cropped hair, the base of his neck.

"Dear god, you're fucking hot," mumbled Ray, his eyes were half closed.

"I know that," said Spot like it was common knowledge.

"You're a little full of yourself, but I'm fine with that, I like my guys a little egotistical," he bit at Spot's neck, tugged at his shirt a little and started licking his collar bone.

"Uh….."

"I'm talkin' preference wise," he nudged at Spot's chin.

"Then you should be lucky I like my guys steeped in ghetto, wanna head for a room or we just gonna get it on in the fucking bathroom?" Spot reached for the door.

"Hell, I didn't think you were that easy," but he didn't argue and opened the door and made sure the hall was empty.

"Fuck you, go make sure everyone's still outside," Spot shoved him and headed into Ray's room.

"Yeah yeah, I'll make sure G don't come looking for you," he headed for the back yard.

Outside everyone was either trashed, or getting there. Four of them had already vomited in the bushes and two were passed out on the couch. It didn't take long before Spot's Mexican friend came in his direction.

"Have you seen Spot?" he had a half finished beer in his hand and didn't seem at all near buzzed.

"He was throwing up in the bathroom and took the bus home," he didn't think that one through.

"At one in the morning?"

"I meant a cab, shit I'm tore-up," he laughed for emphasis.

He put his beer down and glanced at his cell phone, "I should probably go too, uh, thanks for having me over."

"All good, thanks for coming," he stuck his hand out, he always got the feeling Guillermo, yeah that was his name, really didn't like him you could just tell when someone was faking it.

"Uh….yeah, see you at work," he shook his hand and hurried out.

He scurried back to the room thinking maybe Shawn was hopping out the window or something, because well, Shawn did think he was an asshole. He opened the door and found Shawn with his arm over his eyes with one leg raised up. He was wearing semi baggy jeans and a deep green T-shirt with the Triforce logo on it and black and red checkered Vans. He found it…..cute…..

"Hey, you awake?" he took off his shoes.

"Course I'm awake," muttered Spot.

"Kay," he turned out the lights, "you need to call your mom or somethin'?"

"Nah, she knows me enough by now to know, plus I left a note saying I was probably staying at Itey's," he pulled his arm from his face and found he could still see perfectly well in the dark.

"Seriously, what's wit' the nicknames?" he tugged off Spot's shoes.

Spot laughed, "We were kind of in a gang, and if you can't see I just did some air quotes."

"No fucking way," he tossed Spot's shoes behind him.

"Shit there was me, Itey, Raffle-Ticket, Bumlets, Pelon, Panzon, but those last two were kinda just…..Rollercoaster's crew. I mean, I rolled with Chacho and K-swiss for a bit, but like I said, Rollercoaster's crew," Spot paused and realized how much he suddenly missed it all, but it passed.

"So why'd you get stuck wit' Spot?" he tugged up Spot's shirt.

"Rollercoaster kind of just threw it at me and it stuck, but I mean, I _was_ the only white guy. I kind of stuck out," he smiled sadly to himself.

"You sound depressed," he pulled off his own shirt.

Spot found himself splaying his hand across Ray's chest, "A lot of shit went on that I'd rather not remember."

"I can fix that, in matter of speakin'," he didn't bother with their jeans and just yanked the covers up.

"You do realize there's a five year age gap between us right?"

"Hell if I worried about shit like that I'd never get laid," he was pretty surprised when Spot started undoing his belt.

"I'm not even gonna touch that statement, let's just get these goddamn pants off," Spot finished tugging his jeans off.

"Now that sounds like a fucking plan!" he decided he'd let Spot do all the work.

"God you're lazy," muttered Spot, Ray was older ergo he figured Ray would take the lead.

"You're moving kinda slow," laughed Ray.

"Shut up, you should be doing this," muttered Spot this was a little awkward for him.

"Why exactly….?" Spot could hear the laugh in his voice.

"You're older," he expanded his hands, "and bigger than me."

"……."

"Fuck you."

"I didn't say anything!" he smiled and then flipped their positions, "This better?"

---

Spot really wished he'd just gone home, he really wished he'd woken up in his own bed, but more than that he really wished he hadn't got so trashed last night. He remembered throwing up and Ray smoking a joint, and maybe even holding an actual conversation with the guy……then he sat up quickly and jerked his head to his right.

"Oh fuck me….." well, his ability to remain functioning while drunk still worked apparently.

He saw the black tequila rose bottle resting on the drawer and two shot glasses. God, he remembered last night. What the fuck had he been thinking? This was Ray, this was one of his bosses, this was in fact neither of the people he'd dreamed about last night. The only upside was that he was positive he enjoyed himself last night. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror and saw a mass of hickeys.

He glared and shoved Ray, "Next time keep your fucking mouth to yourself."

Ray blinked and stretched for a moment, "You sure weren't complaining last night when I was sucking your-"

"Ohmyfuckinggodshutthefuckup!" he slammed his hands down over his ears.

"Don't tell me that's the first time-"

"Shut up!"

"Oh my god!" he burst into a huge smile unable to contain himself.

"Shut up!"

"How is that even possible!?" he was laughing so hard.

"My first was an asshole, my second well, I was his first- you know what my sex life is none of your business," he scanned the floor for his clothes.

"Will you fucking relax, besides everyone needs their cock sucked every once in a while, I just can't believe no one's ever done it to you," he finally sat up and moved for the tin Altoids can and pulled out a joint.

"Fuck it," he took the joint after it had been lit and inhaled, "my second wasn't so bad, in fact he was perfect, I really loved him, we were just awkward I guess and I made a lot of mistakes. It's Mondo that was the prob….lem, fuck!"

"What?" he took it back and inhaled deeply not really too fazed as Shawn was often frantic about the oddest things even at work.

"I'm not looking for anything, this was just sex, I'm leaving," he grabbed his pants that had just been heaped in a pile next to the bed.

"If you ever need anything, you know where I live Shawn."

He finished pulling on his shirt and paused, he turned his head slightly still facing the door but just barely able to see him from his peripheral vision. He realized he'd been tense since the moment he opened his eyes, but in that brief moment, just one statement he found himself easing up letting his guard completely down. It might have just been the weed though. He smiled down at the brown carpet that most old places had and then turned his head up to the ceiling.

"Thank you…" and he left the room.

---

A/N: Shawn has a tendency to curse more when he's around Ray. It's not like Ray brings out anything bad in him, I just think he might resent letting someone new into his life.


	6. A Little Hard

A Little Hard

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-

-

(Random Snippet # 6 this happens _exactly_ a month after the drunk fest at Ray's)

Anthony new it was stupid of him, but he just couldn't help it. So there he was eating lunch with Itey on Spot's day off. The place was pretty slow so the shift manager let Itey take a break. In the somewhat short time they'd spent together he and Itey had actually gotten along very well. Weird gangsterish persona aside, Itey was very intelligent and down to earth. He was very much a dependable and caring guy, he was glad Spot had someone like that in his life.

"So, how's….Shawn doing?" Anthony took a long drink from his soda.

Itey smiled, "Good, and oblivious to the fact that our night manager keeps trying to _covertly_ hit on him." He didn't want to bring up the fact that Spot was writing Mondo, regardless that Spot _said_ he wasn't.

"What?!" he dropped the food halfway to his mouth.

"I know!" Itey laughed.

"Seriously?!" he couldn't help looking shocked, "is she here _now_?"

"He," Itey corrected.

"Oh my fucking god!"

"That's him over there," Itey pointed to the tall guy at the register.

"Uh…is it me or does Shawn have a thing for tall toned tan guys?" he dropped his head on the table.

"Um, I don't know, I don't keep tabs and Ray's the one hitting on Spot not the other way around," Itey glanced at the clock on the wall.

Anthony stared at the guy and freaked when Ray cocked an eyebrow at him, "Fuck."

"What?" Itey started eating faster.

"He just saw me staring, crap, I should go," but he didn't get up.

"Do you still like Shawn?" Itey never thought to actually ask Anthony before.

"Of course I do," he shoved food into his mouth.

"Then why aren't you guys together?" he glanced again, and saw Ray staring at him.

"Because Spot's in love with, you know who, and that's never going to change," he angrily piled his food onto his tray.

"It would if someone had stuck around long enough," muttered Itey.

"Excuse _me_ for not wanting to be compared to the fucking love of his life," he was glaring at the large windows not sure what else to do to keep from staring at Ray.

Itey glared but whispered roughly, "Anthony, he loved you."

"He had messed up way of showing it……" a hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped.

"I don't know what you guys are arguing about, but take it outside, you're gett'n loud," Ray up close was rather intimidating.

"Sorry, we're done with that train of thought," said Itey getting up.

Anthony quickly followed suit and dumped his trash and hurried outside, Itey shut the door quickly and smiled at Anthony, "What?"

"You're jealous," said Itey lighting a cigarette, somehow Spot got him chain smoking.

"What?" he grabbed the cigarette from him.

"You know you can't have it both ways, he's not gonna never date again," he took the cigarette back.

"I know, I know," he snatched the cigarette again.

"Summer's almost over and both Spot and I are gonna take two weeks leave. I think you should try to work things out," Itey smiled gently, he really wanted Spot to date Anthony again.

"I just can't do that to myself Itey," he sat down on the curb.

"Have it your way, let Ray keep hitting on _Shawn_ till he finally gets it. It's only a matter of time till Ray outright macks on him," Itey really wanted to get to Anthony.

"Macks on who Itey says what?" Both boys jumped at the fast paced statement.

"What?!" Itey stared wide-eyed at both Spot and Ray.

"………" Anthony stared insistently at Itey.

"Spot, didn't see you show up," Itey smiled his best innocent smile.

"Shawn- I came to check my schedule, Ray said you were outside with some short dude," he nodded towards Ray.

"You're twenty is over, and Dvina needs her break, get inside now," Itey knew he was going to catch crap, very much positive that Ray heard him.

Spot glared at Ray as Itey went inside, Ray turned and saw the look on Spot's face and nodded once and hurried inside.

Spot smiled at Anthony, "What're you doing here Tony?"

"What, I'm not allowed to hang out with Itey?" said Anthony defensively.

"Christ, relax it was just a question," he fought the urge to sling his arm around Anthony's shoulder.

"Actually, uh…..you know what never mind, see you around," he turned towards his car.

"You know, just because we broke up doesn't mean we can't be friends," Spot caught up to him.

"Yes it does, it never works, trust me," Anthony dropped his keys to the car.

"My ass," he leaned up against the car.

"Whatever so maybe I don't know, but I know it's a bad idea!" he knew he couldn't turn away from Spot now.

"Why?" he leveled his stare at him.

"Because, we still have feelings for each other, it wouldn't just be normal friendship we'd always want more……." he sighed and leaned against the car too at this point.

Spot smiled, "I want _more_ now and we're not even anything at this point, just failures at love."

"Great you think it's funny, I'm thrilled," he found himself glaring at nothing.

"I think it's endearing how stupid we both are," he turned and smiled even wider at the look on Anthony's face.

"…." He smiled too, still looking at nothing, "you're stupid."

"You're face is stupid," it was lame, but the only quick response he could come up with.

"That was lame!" he finally turned and jolted back upon realizing how close they were and at how open Spot's expression was.

"I love you Tony and I'd kiss you right now if we weren't in public," he turned his gaze to the store front and frowned when he saw Ray staring out the window.

Ray then shot a few sprays of Windex and started wiping it down. And the words 'lame ass mother fucker' ran through his mind.

"I gotta go," he was smiling though, "I'll uh, call sometime, soon Shawn……"

"I'm glad, and I'm gonna hold you to that, otherwise I'm heading to your house and we both know how much your mom loves me," incidentally he'd run into her the other day at the grocery store downtown, she looked very unhappy to see him.

"Like a second son," he got in his car then rolled the window down, he was really digging his own grave, "I never stopped loving you either."

After Anthony left the parking lot he headed back inside and went straight for Ray. He didn't car who saw, he grabbed Ray by the shirt and dragged him into the break room and shut the door behind him. He watched with a cocked brow as Ray straightened out his shirt and then gave him the same expression.

"Spying on me? Really? You're like twenty three Ray," he crossed his arms.

"I wasn't spying I was cleaning the windows," to emphasize he shot a mist of Windex in the air.

Both of them winced as it descended, "Yeah that was smart."

"Whatever, so who was that? He like eats with G all the time when you're not here," he set the bottle down.

"Seriously? Since when?" he sat down on the table.

"Hell if I know, but they're always whispering to each other and your names comes up quite a bit," he tried to gauge Spot's expression, he wasn't doing a great job.

Spot scratched his neck roughly for a second, "Yeah that was my ex, he and Itey are apparently fucking best friends now…...What the shit!?"

"Really? That little guy was your ex?"

"You're just a giant," Spot laughed.

"Oh thank god, I thought you were gonna say asshole," he finally sat down next to Spot smiling all the while.

"Yeah, that too," Spot nudged him.

It was weird, he didn't often ever make friends, but with Ray, everything was different. Ray was pretty much normal, aside from his obvious attraction for younger guys. Very obvious attraction, sometimes they couldn't watch TV for five minutes without Ray making some kind of comment about some barely legal looking teen on screen. It was cute and kind of disgusting all at the same time. Most of the time though they played video games and got high and made midnight trips to Jack in the Box. Ray apparently only deep cleaned his place when he expected company. Otherwise fast food bags littered the ground like gaudy tinsel on a Christmas tree.

He shuddered at the memory of meeting the guys parents by accident. They had been getting ready to leave when Ray opened the door and found his mom with her hand poised to knock. Ray figured if he was blatantly obvious maybe his parents would get offended and leave. No such luck and Spot had felt thoroughly embarrassed. Ray had flung his arm around him and introduced him as his very, close, friend.

Ray's mom had simply rolled her eyes, but Ray's dad outright sneered at them for a moment. It just got worse after that. But Spot had to hand it to them, they were very much use to their son's apparent vulgar behavior. Ray was unashamed of every single action he did or was going to do. It was both refreshing and horrifying.

"I kinda wan' ta hook up tonight, is that ok?" he looked at the younger boy.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"What do ya mean you don't know?" he frowned, this was new, Spot almost always without fail, said yes.

"I mean _I don't know,_ got that?" he was hoping that maybe when Tony had said soon it meant that night.

"This is because your ex ain't it?" he stood up.

"What if it is?"

"Shawn, look, you said it yourself, it's just sex. We're both adults its fine, but I really want you to come over tonight k?" he looked too serious for Spot's liking, he had this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He scoffed though, "I know _I'm_ an adult, don't know 'bout _you _though."

"Shawn."

"What?!" he frowned.

"Please come over tonight," Ray dropped to his knees.

This of course led Spot's mind in a different direction, but this was neither the time nor the place for those thoughts. For some reason tonight was important to Ray and that fact alone is what scared him. For the life of him though Spot couldn't understand why.

The break room door opened and Itey walked in he looked shocked, "……Um, what's going on?"

"None of your goddamn business, what do you need?" Ray looked angry.

"I need something voided, I'll just wait outside or something," he hurried away.

"Get off your knees already, though the begging is kind of hot," he laughed slightly, trying to make light.

"Well?" he stayed on the ground.

"You're gonna embarrass yourself more, get off the ground," he stood and tried to lift him.

"Give me an answer," he stayed rooted, humiliating himself in front of Spot's friend was going to be worth it.

"Fine ok, I'll come over, just get off the ground before somebody gets the wrong idea," he jolted back as Ray shot up from the ground.

"Hell to the fucking ya," he smiled cockily in triumph.

"Could you be a bigger douche-bag?" Spot arched an eyebrow as Ray nodded.

"I could try harder," he without warning yanked him close and sucked his earlobe hard for half a minute and then walked out the door without saying anything.

"I fucking hate him so much……" he could feel himself twitching, "I really fucking hate him."

---

A/N: It's hard for me to describe Ray. It's like he's serious, but he's not serious at all.


	7. A Friends Job

A Friends Job

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-

-

(Tony finds out Jack caught Spot in the act)

Anthony stared out the window down the street. Itey's house very much visible at this angle. Spot was outside in a very unflattering uniform as was Itey. He thought Evan had been joking when he said Spot had got a job. Low and behold Spot was working drive-thru when he went to order an obscenely long and picky order.

"Tone, stop staring."

"I still can't believe he was cheating on me with that psychopath…."

"I know," Jack shuddered, "I saw them making out one-"

David swung his hand across Jack's chest and coughed something that sounded suspiciously like, 'you weren't going to talk about that.'

"You saw- you knew!?" Evan looked shocked.

"What the hell Jack?!" Anthony glared.

"I didn't think it was my place to say anything," said Jack defensively.

"You being, oh I don't know, my _best friend_s, saw him in the act and figured it was _your place_ to say 'hey Tony your boyfriend was making out with another _guy_!'. When, where, what the fuck?!"

"Would you have even believed me?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"No."

"……"

Anthony looked to Evan who had the audacity to agree with Jack, "What?"

"Face it Tone, Jack was constantly telling you to dump him. In your eyes Jack would have just been lying," Evan got up and closed the blinds.

"If it makes you feel better Davey didn't say anything either," Jack smiled.

David glared at him then turned to Anthony, "Jack told me not to by the way."

Evan smiled and Anthony rolled his eyes.

"Wow Jack really? Selling out your boy-"

Jack and David tackled him.

"I'm really glad to be left out the orgy," he arched an eyebrow at him.

"I told Jack to tell you, in my defense, but he didn't know what to do," said David sitting up.

Jack held his hand out to Anthony, "It was at the park…..you were there…."

"……." Anthony glared knowing exactly which day Jack was referring to immediately, how could he not. That was the day…..

"Tony, please say something," begged Jack.

"You were right the whole time Jack, but I really…."

Jack's gaze dropped and David rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I didn't want to be."

-

A/N: this was also something I wanted to put in the fic. It was important to me, but I couldn't get it in the fic.


	8. Just So You Know

Just So You Know

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-

-

_(Random Snippet # 8 Ray and Spot at the one month mark)_

He stared down at his phone, Tony had not sent him a text or left voice mail. It irked him and he could feel it welling up inside of him. Spot sighed as he placed his cell phone in his pocket and rang the door bell. It was a force of habit, just like getting his hopes up. He definitely didn't want Ray to think he was comfortable enough to just let himself in. That would just give Ray the wrong idea, that this was more then what it was…

"But it's not," he muttered angrily to himself.

The door swung open and there stood Ray in a very nice button up shirt and a nice fitting pair of black Dickies and dress shoes. Spot felt a moment of panic, he wasn't really quite sure why yet. A few scents wafted out the door, it was both sweetly fragrant and delicious like perfectly seasoned food. Spot could feel his stomach react to the food and his head to the lavender and linen-esque smell.

Spot coughed awkwardly and Ray smiled broadly at him.

"I was starting ta think you weren't going ta show," he ushered Spot inside.

"Why are you so dressed up?" Spot gave a once over again for good measure.

"A guy can't dress nice?" he popped his collar and tilted his head smiling a little cockily, like he knew how good he looked dressed up.

"And why the fuck is your place clean?" Spot glared at the ground, feeling very hostile for some reason.

"Should I throw some stuff on the floor?" he quirked an eyebrow.

"Seriously what's going on?" Spot turned his glare on Ray and his perfectly styled hair.

"What, I'm not allowed to do something nice, like cook dinner for a friend?" Ray headed into the kitchen and went straight to the oven.

"Oh my god you have candles lit and potpourri in fancy bowls, you're up to something," he sat down dropping his jacket on the back of the chair.

"What's with you and the Nintendo shirts? Come to think of it, this is the first time I've seen you wear red," Ray pulled a pan out of the oven.

"You're changing the subject," Spot pointed to the champagne bottle in the middle of the table.

"I just wanted to do something special, is that a crime?" Ray nodded as he portioned out two pieces.

Spot poured out two glasses then cautiously studied Ray's back, "….No one does shit like this for me, that's all…"

"Hey, no cussing tonight ok?" said Ray as he turned and placed both plates on the table.

"……" Spot arched an eyebrow as he took a generous sip from his fancy looking glass.

"What?" Ray sat down searching Spot's face.

"I'm leaving," Spot stood.

Ray immediately reached for his wrist and gently tugged him back down, "No, please, stay?"

"Tell me what the hell's going on first," he stared at him expectantly.

He sighed loudly then drank half his glass in one drink, "It's- We- Shit ok," he smiled somewhat awkwardly, "so we've been doing whateve' dis is for like a month now…."

"What?"

"It just means something ta me that is, I mean, I know it don't mean shit ta you an all, but ta me it do, a'ight?" he polished off his drink and poured more into his glass.

"Uh…" a part of him realized that Ray was actually pretty nervous if only for the fact that Ray spoke less elegantly, when he was mad, nervous, or drank. He was neither mad nor drunk.

"……" Ray lifted his glass and watched Spot over the brim of it.

Spot just stared back at him, this was definitely new. It was also very awkward he didn't feel anything romantic towards Ray. What was worse was that Ray knew it. He didn't understand at all, but at the same time it made him feel so good.

Ray put his glass down and continued staring he was starting to look worried. Then Spot's cell phone went off and Spot could not have been any more happier in that moment than if he found out that Mondo was out on parole and had a complete personality change.

"I gotta take this!" he jumped up and ran into the bathroom.

"_Shawn?"_ it was Tony.

"Thank god you called," he sighed in relief.

"_What's going on? You sound freaked out? Is everything ok?"_ god bless that boy for still caring.

"Yeah, no- things couldn't be greater, just at a co-workers place having dinner," a romantic dinner at that, or at least that's what Spot assumed it was supposed to be.

"_Oh…"_ things rustled in the background and a hushed voiced got a little louder.

"Oh, what?" he stared at his reflection in the mirror, he looked pale, things were getting a little too real for him.

"_Is it your manager?"_ he suspected Itey was involved.

He was half tempted to say: 'what's it to you?', but decided that wouldn't go off too well, "Yeah, he uh, put a lot of effort into it and all."

Spot suddenly felt the urge to smack himself.

"_So I guess this means you're not free tonight then?" _Spot could hear quick whispers, it appeared Jack was there too.

"NO! No, I can see you in a little bit if you want, nothing important going on here, nope," he could hear the sheer terror in his voice.

Spot realized he was definitely in denial.

"_Are you sure you're ok?"_ Tony was sincerely concerned and it stuck that cord inside Spot that it always did.

"No….., but I can deal for now," he turned his attention to the door, he could see a shadow underneath at the bottom of the frame.

"_What time do you think you can stop by?"_ more whispers.

"Give me like forty minutes, kay? Oh! You're place, Itey's, or Jack's?"

"_uh…"_ he could hear Tony chastise the two, _"My place, if that's fine."_

"Great, I'll see you soon Tony," Spot could feel the smile in his voice and hung up promptly after Tony said his goodbyes.

For a moment he stared at the door a minutes longer and took a deep breath. He really didn't want to face Ray. Ray's feelings twisted inside him making him feel queasy and strange. Like he didn't belong in his body, he hated it, it just didn't feel right.

Finally he opened the door and found Ray sitting in the living room drinking straight from the champagne bottle, half the contents missing.

"Just go, you don't wan' be here, so just fucking leave, a'ight," Ray didn't even spare him a glance.

In that moment Spot felt everything in his chest drop to the bottom of his stomach, it was pure shock to him. He could feel himself smile sadly as he walked over to Ray, "No cussing tonight remember?"

"What's it even matter, it's just sex right?" Ray finally looked sullenly up at him.

It was so weird to see him like this, so not Ray…….. "I should have never said it like that, I'm sorry, but I need you to understand, I'm not in love with you."

"I know that, I'm not stupid," he shrugged and took another long drink from the bottle, "I just, haven't felt this way about someone in a very long time."

"I know what you mean, but maybe we shouldn't sleep together anymore," Spot took a seat next to him on the couch.

"You're still in love wit' your ex right?" he leaned into the couch lifting his head to stare at the ceiling.

"Ha! Take your pick, I'm in love with them both, because I'm a fucking moron!" he snatched the bottle and took a swig.

"What?"

"I'm fucked up Ray, I'm okay with it for the most part, but every once in a while I freak," he took another quick swig.

Ray quirked a smile, "Like tonight?"

"Yeah, like tonight, I don't need a third guy to worry about, but at the same time it was my fault. I missed having someone around and I used you, I shouldn't have, but it felt so fucking good. Well, until you got all serious on me," he smiled and handed Ray back the bottle.

"I can't help it, but you should probably go, he's waiting for you an all," Ray set the bottle aside and sighed.

"He can wait a little longer, it's not like we're dating," he smiled at the older boy.

"Neither are we…." Ray also smiled.

"Let's finish dinner and then I'll head out, that sound fine?" he slapped his hands on his knees and got up extending his to Ray.

"Except for the part where you _head _out, because I'd rather-"

Spot cut him off, "Ok none of that, well, maybe a little, we'll see where dinner takes us."

"Exactly…….hey, Shawn?" he stood in the living room Spot just a few steps in front of him.

"Hm?" Spot cast a glance over his shoulder.

"I think I'm falling in love wit' you…….Just thought I'd throw that out there, you know if that makes a difference," he shrugged a shoulder and smiled more like himself.

Spot just smiled at him a genuine heartfelt warm smile. Blunt, brash, unashamed, and so utterly sincere. Ray really wasn't that bad of a guy, in fact he was perfect just the way he was.

XXX

A/N: Personally I love Ray, so much more than Mondo. This is the start of Spot doing more of the wrong thing as he starts trying to go out with Tony and still fool around with Ray.


	9. Collision

Collision

-

-

-

_(Random Snippet # 9 a day hanging out at Spot's place)_

Ray studied the front door. The fresh paint the newly drilled in address plate, a peephole, it was quaint. The place looked small, but it also looked well cared for. He knocked three times and waited. A few sounds doors closing some light feet shuffling. Music drifted out the two open windows on either side of the door. It finally opened and Spot stood in the center, smirking.

"You're early," he let him in and shut the door behind him.

"It's better than being fashionably late," he smiled, "so this is your place, huh?"

"My moms," he pointed to the couch.

"What I don't get a tour of the place?" Ray tossed his coat on the couch.

"It's a two bedroom house one bathroom a kitchen and a living room. You don't need a tour," said Spot as he headed for the kitchen and grabbed two Dos Equis'.

"Your mom lets you drink?"

"She once game me a shot of tequila," said Spot smiling at the memory.

"What?" you could hear the laugh in Rays voice.

"I think she knew I was…..not being me I guess," Spot smiled fondly for a moment longer, "I guess I could at least show you my room."

"Oh lucky me," he followed Spot out and into the living room then left to his room.

"So this is it, nothing fancy, oh, by the way Itey's hanging out too," said spot as he sat on his bed.

"G hates me," Ray frowned, but smiled when he saw a picture of Spot and a couple other guys trying to hit a piñata, beer cans all over the ground.

"And you hate him, so you can spend your time hating each other together," Spot smirked.

"Are you serious, do you hate me?"

"Yes on both counts. Itey's my best friend and you're my other friend, deal ok," he set his beer on the side table next to his bed.

"You have some weird pictures, hey, you have any of your other ex?" Ray scanned the dresser then noticed something.

At the side of the drawer sat a shoebox filled with letters. They all had a stamp with the nearby prison insignia mark on it, "What's that?"

"That," said Spot getting up and putting the lid on it, "is my other ex."

"You weren't kidding about that gang thing huh?" he dropped himself onto the bed.

"No shit," Spot walked into his closet and reached for something buried underneath a pile of winter jackets.

He walked out carrying another shoebox and sat down on the bed next to Ray. Spot took the lid off of it and started flipping through the photos till he found what he was looking for. It was a relatively new picture if not a few months old. It was of him and Mondo, they were sitting next to each other obviously completely stoned and trashed. Mondo had his arm around his shoulder and was leaning in a little too close.

"That's a lot of pictures," he took the picture Spot help out to him.

"That is my first," he smiled down at another picture in his hand then looked at Ray.

"Whoa, you're shitting me right? This guy is not fucking gay," he stared skeptically at the photo.

"I don't know what he is, but we defiantly screwed each other a lot," he put the picture back in the box and handed him another one.

"So how long were you guys together?" he for the life of him he couldn't picture this guy doing anything remotely gay.

"Uh….let me think….god, two years? Then maybe about a month three months ago, I was trying to cut ties with him, but his ending up in prison kind of fixed that problem."

"Two years? That must have been fun," he started flipping through the pictures himself.

"He treated me like shit, no joke, he actually beat me quite a bit and it all went to hell. Yeah and the reason he's in prison is because he tried to kill my other ex Tony, it was….insane," Spot sighed.

"…….." Ray just stared at him, glanced at the pictures then at the shoebox of letters, then back at Spot, "………"

"You don't have to say anything, I know what a big mistake that all was," Spot took the pictures and put them away.

"So what's with the box of letters? I mean, if he treated you so badly, they look like they were all opened," Ray stood hands in his pockets.

"That's none of your fucking business," Spot glared at him and headed out the room.

Ray threw his hands in the air, "Sorry, so who else is hanging out with us today?"

"Uh…." He hesitated for a moment, "Jack, and uh, Itey…."

"Annnnnd?" he drawled.

"Tony, it should be fine though," he made it into the living room as the front door opened.

"What's he doing here?" said Itey as he walked in, Jack, David, and Tony following him in.

Ray arched an eyebrow.

"I invited him, we're friends, remember?" said Spot then he looked at David, "Who invited you Sparky?"

"Jack, of course," said David closing the door behind them.

"I don't know why I invited you, Sparky can stay, but you gotta go," said Spot smiling then he caught sight of his mom.

"Oh, I meant to be gone before your friends got here," she smiled at her son.

"You don't have to go mom. Oh and uh, that's Jack and David, and uh this is my friend Ray I was telling you about, guys that's my mom," he pointed in both directions.

"Oh, so you're Ray, it's nice to meet you," she walked over and reached to shake his hand.

"Same here," he smiled at her.

"Ray's our manager, he's twenty three!" said Itey in a rather cheerful voice.

Both Spot and Ray glared at him.

Jack looked to Tony, who was staring at Itey like he was crazy.

"So!" said David, "something sure smells good!"

"It's the Mexican lasagna," said both Itey and Spot's mom.

"Will you both stop saying that!?" Spot turned a little red.

Ray arched an eyebrow and laughed, "What?"

"What what?" said Spot quickly.

"It's funny because you're turning red!" said Ray laughing.

"Shut up!"

"Wow, you spilt enchilada sauce on me earlier to have a flirting fight with Ray?" muttered Itey then realized how loud he'd actually said it.

"Well, I've got a movie to catch you boys have uh, fun….." she smiled hesitantly and headed out the front door.

Spot stared at Itey for a moment, "Can I talk to you in my room, now."

Itey shrugged and headed towards Spot's room, Spot two steps behind him. Once the door was closed behind them he snapped.

"What the hell is your problem?! If you've got something to say, say it to me don't go shit talking behind my back. You think I don't hear the crap you say at work? You're supposed to be my best friend, what's wrong with you?"

"My problem? Why don't you tell me exactly what's going on? All you do is spend time with Ray, what do you expect me to think? You keep blowing me off to spend time with him," Itey knew Spot would eventually hear the gossip he accidently started spreading, but it would have happened even without him.

"Nothing, nothing is going on. Me and Ray are friends, just like you and me," Spot crossed his arms and glared.

"More like you and Mondo."

"Leave your cousin out of this!" Spot found himself doing something he never thought he would do he shoved Itey against the wall.

Itey shoved him back, "Forget this! Look you've got something going on with Ray and you haven't said one thing to me about it!"

"I don't need you in my personal business all the time Itey, you have an opinion about every aspect of my life. Well it's my life and I'll ask for your opinion when I need it!"

"Well, my opinion, whether you want it or not, Ray is a jerk he's not good for you. There that's all I have to say I won't say anything anymore I swear," Itey flung the door open and walked back into the living room.

"We're _not_ fucking dating!" yelled Spot then slammed the door shut.

In the living room Ray stared at Itey then at Spot's bedroom, "……so we don't get to have any Mexican lasagna?"

Itey stared at him like he was stupid and shook his head.

Anthony just broke out in a smile, "Oh my god. Ok so who's going to fix him?"

Jack raised an eyebrow, "The fixer is the one that broke it."

"Leave me out of this," said Itey feeling very guilty.

"Fine, I'll do it," said Tony and he headed to Spot's room.

Ray looked to Itey, "So he has something in the oven?"

Itey sighed and headed into the kitchen annoyed as Ray followed, "Why are you here?"

"Me an Shawn ain't dating if that's really your problem," said Ray as he watched Itey take a pan out of the oven.

"I don't like you!" growled Itey.

"I'm not stupid, what I want to know is why?"

"You remind me of my cousin, and my cousin, treated Shawn like shit. He doesn't need that, not again, ok," he turned off the oven and continued glaring at Ray.

"I think you got the wrong impression of me, I'm not your cousin. I'm me, an to be honest, I don't like you. You an Shawn were always closed off to the rest of the crew, whispering jokes to each other, stopping whenever I come in on you guys, it pisses me off," Ray grabbed another beer from the fridge very unsure of what happened to his other one.

"We're friends, of course we're going to act like that, you're the manager, we're not going to include you," Itey also reached into the fridge for a beer.

"Well me an Shawn are friends too."

"So what was going on in the break room that one day, when you were kneeling in front of Spot?" Itey quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I was sucking him off- What the hell do you think I was doing?! We were talking, for fucks sake," he tried to keep from laughing when he caught sight of Jack and David's expression.

Itey followed his line of sight and smiled too, "Seriously though?"

"I was asking him to hang out at my place, he said no, so I started begging him, satisfied?" he stared at Itey.

"But you like him _beyond_ the scope of _just_ hanging out, don't you?"

"Maybe…." He saw the look on Itey's face and sighed, "not that it's any of your business, but I really like him. So go fuck yourself."

"He's still in love with his ex you know," stated Itey taking a drink.

"Both of them actually," said Ray smiling.

"So he told you all about it, huh?" That really surprised him for some reason.

"Pretty much, but I pissed him off when I asked him why he had letters from his ex sitting in a box."

Itey jerked his head in Ray's direction, "Where?"

"Next to his drawer, why?"

"Did you read any of them?"

"Why would I?" asked Ray.

"Probably for the best, just a bunch of sick stuff. Raunchy stuff, and him telling Spot how much he misses him, how much he wished he hadn't been stoned when he tried to attack Tony. I've read a few. One of them even said Spot didn't deserve to live without him, Spot said it was romantic," Itey scoffed.

"That's some twisted shit," mused Ray staring at the tile.

"You're telling me, Tony's what's best for him, not you," Itey grabbed two more beers and headed into the living room and offered them to Jack and David.

Ray pushed himself off the counter then headed for Spot's room and opened the door, "Oops, sorry thought this was the bathroom."

He shut the door, not before he noticed the pure look of hate pouring from Shawn. He quickly shut the door and went right out the back door. He'd been kissing his ex, there just wasn't room for Shawn to love him. He _felt_ like crying, but that would just be pathetic. They weren't even dating he didn't have that right.

The door opened behind him and he winced in anticipation for Shawn to start yelling. When he heard nothing he found Shawn's ex instead. He quickly turned his head back to the yard and chugged his beer.

"I should probably go, I'm just pissing everyone off," he moved to get up, but stopped when Tony sat next to him.

"It's not what you think."

"Right back at ya."

"You scare the heck out of me," said Tony smiling.

"Why thank you," Ray smiled broadly.

"I like Spot," said Tony casually.

"Well, I'm feelin' it really bad for Shawn," he drained what was left in the bottle.

Tony gasped almost inaudibly and stared wide-eyed at him.

The back door swung open, "Ok you two don't need to be alone together!"

Spot stood there looking frantic Itey behind him smiling wildly.

"Jack and David are bored and I'm hungry," said Itey.

"Yeah exactly inside both of you!" said Jack somewhere in the backround.

Tony got up and went inside Spot stopped Ray and shut the door, "Do that again and I'll quit."

"I'm sorry, I promise I won't. You guys look…..cute together…." He could feel himself cringe inside.

Spot laughed, "You are such a liar!"

"Shut up….."

XXX

A/N: What? Spot envisioned this going way smoother.


	10. Three Tickets

Three Tickets

-

-

-

(Random Snippet #11 Ray, Itey, Spot)

Ray shut the door behind himself and shook the door in order to make sure it was securely locked. Then he turned and saw Shawn and G standing by the trash can at the far end of the parking lot. He felt the three movie tickets in his pocket and double checked his cell phone, there were no more new messages. So his options were go to the movie by himself, not go at all, or……..

"Yo, Shawn, G you guys free after this?" he strolled over to them hands in his pockets.

Shawn raised an eyebrow in G's direction, "I know I'm not doing anything."

"Uh……I guess, why?" he sounded suspicious.

"I got some extra movie tickets since my friends bailed on me at the last minute," he held up the extra tickets.

"Bailed?" coursed Shawn and G.

"Ok, well not bailed exactly, but let's not split hairs, kay? Are you guys coming or not?" he headed for his car.

"I'm in," Shawn smiled and tossed his cigarette on the ground and crushed it.

"I guess," said G as he did the same.

The three of them climbed into the maroon extended cab truck and drove the two and a half blocks to the movie theater. Ray bought all the snacks and insisted that they all sit at the very top row dead center. The previews played and the lights dimmed as the movie started. Ray leaned over a little and started to whisper a comment to Shawn. Shawn immediately flinched to his left and glared.

"You ok man?"

"….." Shawn rubbed his ear and glared, "yeah."

"I was just going to say, I heard the graphics in this are hella awesome," he took a sip from his drink and continued his comments and observations to himself for the first thirty minutes.

Shawn was reaching for his own drink as Ray leaned over to whisper another comment, "He needs to do something about that mole."

His hand went right to his ear again, "Will you quit that, I'm trying to watch the movie."

Ray felt confused, especially since G was laughing at him.

Fifteen minutes passed by and he thought for just a few seconds about Shawn's reaction. He glanced over and saw that G had fallen asleep. He felt himself smile as he leaned over again, testing his theory.

Shawn was completely into the scene on the screen, Ray's lips were less than an inch from the ridge of Shawn's ear.

Warm breath ghosted out as he whispered as quietly as possible, "You have sensitive ears don't you?"

Shawn clenched his eyes shut and visibly shivered, then dumped his popcorn over Ray's head, "Don't ever do that again."

Ray watched as Shawn got up and moved three seats to the left. Tonight hadn't been such a bust.

-

A/N: ha


	11. Night Shift

Night Shift

-

-

-

(Random snippet #10 Ray and Spot at work)

Ray sat at the desk in the office filling out paper work for the night. Spot sat on the edge of the desk eating a strawberry shortcake ice cream. Itey wasn't working tonight so Spot figured he'd just spend his half bothering Ray instead of eating by himself in the break-room.

"I'm going to tell Mindy you refuse to schedule me and Itey together."

"You both talk too much," muttered Ray glaring down at the paper work, "god, she needs to not touch the drawers if she can't count."

"That's a load of crap, change the schedule, I know you can do it. Plus I know you can't stand him and that makes me smile." Stated Spot as he finished his dessert slash dinner.

"Don't leave your trash on the desk again or I'll make you clean all the lobby trash cans," Ray reached for some fresh forms and started redoing some of the day paperwork.

"You know, people have been saying stuff about us," Spot shrugged and tossed his trash on the floor, fact, it wasn't the desk.

Ray finally looked up, "What? What kind of stuff?"

"That we're boning each other," he turned to glare out the office door window and saw one of the girls who was closing with him mopping outside the door.

She locked eyes with him for a second then flung her stare back at the ground.

"You know whose fault that is, right?" Ray got up and opened the door, "That's the tenth time I've seen you mopping that floor in the past thirty minutes. Either you find something more productive to do or I can write you up and _give_ you something to do."

"Whatever," she glared and walked off mop in hand.

Spot couldn't stop laughing, "You're so fucking serious."

"If you weren't on your break I'd kick you out of here," said Ray frowning, already knowing he'd have to recount some of the drawers.

"Christ, relax!"

"You don't get to say that, that's my thing," Ray paused then glanced out the window then leaned into Spot.

"What're you doing?" Spot also glanced out the window.

"Trying to make you leave," Ray smiled.

"I'll leave when I'm ready, you can't threaten me with a -"

Ray just kissed him quickly then pulled back, "Fuck the rumors."

Spot rolled his eyes, "This is why there are rumors."

Ray reached for the handle then glared out the window.

"What?" Spot turned and pressed his fingers to his eyes, "I'll deal with this."

Spot immediately opened the door and walked into the breakroom Itey followed in after him.

"I just came to tell Ray, since I dropped my phone in the toilet, that me and Tawny switched shifts for Sunday, she needs to open so I'm going to close for her. Just tell him that for me ok?" Itey made to leave but Spot caught hold of his wrist.

"You saw didn't you?" he let go of his wrist.

"I didn't see anything, and if I did I wouldn't say anything," Itey stared at his best friend.

"You saw!" Spot smiled and shoved him lightly.

Itey rolled his eyes then smiled, "Yeah I saw. So what are you doing after work?"

"Me and Ray are hanging out, you can come if you want," Spot smirked.

"I'll take a pass, tomorrow though we're hanging out I feel like drinking," Itey pointed at him.

"Swear, now leave I gotta get back to work and pre-close while he's busy fixing Mindy's shit," he ushered Itey out and set to work.

Twenty minutes later he was putting chairs on the tables when the girl from earlier started sweeping next to him.

"Ray used to date my sister," she didn't look at him.

"Good for her," said Spot.

"Of course that was before he figured out he was gay," she glanced over her shoulder and kept speaking in a low voice.

"That's nice," he had no idea why she was trying to talk to him.

"Ray was sixteen and Noey came home so pissed and upset when he finally told her, two days later he was dating one of her other ex's. Ray's dad kicked him out for like a month, I never saw Ray get angry about it, not once." She started sweeping the dirt and food into the dustpan.

Spot looked at her nametag, "Your sisters name is Noey? Kaz?"

"Nolita, but I think Noey has more personality, my name is actually Kassia. Like Kah-see-uh. So are you and Ray going out?" she glanced back again to where Dvina was doing dishes.

"No we're not, so make sure to spread _that_," he continued putting up chairs.

"Hm," she just smiled.

Spot stopped and stared at her then glanced at the back then walked over to her, "Are you under the impression I'm gay?"

"Are you telling me you're not?" she walked back over to where he'd been putting up chairs and started helping.

"………" he cocked an eyebrow, "you know this could be considered sexual harassment."

"Well pardon me!" she just gave him a look, "he lived with us that entire month he'd been kicked out and he only hangs out with guys who are willing to tolerate his gayness."

"Why are you telling me all this?" they finished putting up the chairs.

She shrugged, "You guys are joined at the hip here, plus I saw him go after you at his party," she smirked, "you never came back out."

"Fine you're right about me, but we're not dating," they grabbed the trash bin and started the unfavorable task of changing trash bags.

"Hm…." She put in the new bags as Spot took out the old ones, "Just as well, you're not his type."

"Excuse me?"

"Just saying, no offense, you're just friends," she held the door open for him as he pushed the trash bin out.

"Whatever," he quickly threw the trash into the dumpster.

Once they were back inside he went directly to the office and knocked on the door. Ray was just shutting the safe at this point. Spot mouthed out that they were done. Ray nodded then opened the door.

"You look pissed," Ray shut the door behind himself.

"Well I feel pissed, just check the store so they can go," Spot shoved his hands in his pockets.

Ray walked around the store wiped a few things off and mopped a few spots by the sink, "You guys are good to go. I need to finish some stuff in the office, so Shawn you can wait with me while I finish up in there. Place looks great girls see you tomorrow."

Spot rolled his eyes and glared at Kassie as she and Dvina clocked out and left, "I don't want to work with Kassie."

"What? Why?" he headed back to the office, Spot following behind him.

"I just don't, ok," he sat on top of the desk and watched Ray for a moment.

"I used to date her sister," said Ray, casually as he signed on to the computer.

"So I heard."

"Is that what you're mad about?" Ray was flipping through the papers checking numbers and putting them in.

"No. She called me out on the gay thing, asked if we were dating. I told her _no _because we're _not_, and then she said I wasn't your _type_. She also was talking about how you got kicked out of your place when you were sixteen." Spot couldn't help the glare resting on his face, he felt really insulted for some reason.

For a few minutes Ray didn't say anything as he finished totaling up the waste sheet and sent the paper work to his boss. He turned and smiled.

"Lets head out," they walked out the store and Ray locked the place up.

"She was telling me all your business!"

"Christ, relax. It's okay. Kassie's like family, the annoying little sister I wish I never had. Her sister, Noey, worked here right before you and G got hired," he pushed the button to unlock his car and they got in.

"Whatever."

"Are you upset she knows more about me then you do?" Ray couldn't wait to get home and smoke a joint he felt completely exhausted.

"I could care less," Spot stared out the window.

"…….." neither of them said anything for the ten minute ride to Rays place.

They walked in and Ray tossed his jacket on the floor next to the closet then went right into the kitchen and grabbed two beers. He opened both bottles and walked back into the living room and handed one to Spot. Ray took a seat next to him and smiled oddly.

"What?"

"It was weird….figuring out I was gay, I did everything I could think of to convince myself I was straight. That was a disaster waiting to happen. I thought Noey would understand, but she blew up about it." He smiled at his beer then took a long drink. "We'd gone to my place to do….stuff and I bailed at the last moment and just blurted it out."

Spot took a drink. It was strange hearing someone else's story. Ray didn't seem bitter in the slightest and a part of him was really annoyed by it.

"She started yelling an crying, then came all these accusations an of course my dad hears all of this. He at least had the good grace to let me freak out over night about everything before telling me first thing that next morning to get my shit together an leave."

Ray set his beer aside and took off his shoes.

"Mom of course finds out an starts yelling at my dad. Saying stuff like 'oh he's just sixteen he can't live on the streets' dad counters with, 'you can't fix what he is'. I had to sit there an listen to that for almost three hours, I thought I was going to have to bash my head in before I'd get to leave."

"So what happened?" Spot peeled his work shirt off making sure to not spill his beer.

"I eventually just got up an left. I knew my dad didn't hate me, he was just freaked. He was the one who came over to Noey's an dragged me home. Literally dragged me out the house, back of my shirt in one hand, my stuff in the other. Neither of us said a word to each other till he parked outside our house. Said he was sorry, but he would not have it in the house if I didn't want to piss him off."

Ray smiled broadly and laughed, "Of course I said ok, but inside I was thinking 'oh I'd give him something to be pissed about', that's when I started bringing random guys home. I was only seeing one of them seriously, but when he found out we broke up. I made sure Dad saw each guy, he was furious! It was great."

"I think he knows you're doing it on purpose, even now," Spot smiled and drained his beer.

"Of course he does, he's not stupid. I heard him tell my mom I was never going to amount to anything. I hate it when someone makes an assumption about me. Once I graduated I went right out and got a part time job that way I could go to the community college. I never told either of my parents that I was going, so they have no idea I have an AA in General Studies."

"I had no idea at first what I wanted to do, but I really, _really_, love working on cars. Problem is my dad works in automotive repair. There's no way in hell I want him thinking I'm following in his footsteps. I don't want ta make him proud, I want ta make _me _proud. Fuck him, I just need a new passion that's all."

"Ha, at least you know what you're passionate about, I have no idea where I'm going," Spot leaned against Ray, "I need another beer."

"So it's just you an your mom huh?"

"……..yeah….my mom's great,"

"What happened to your dad?"

"I don't know, he just left one day and I never saw him again. It was for the best, what I do remember about him was that he never had anything good to say about me. Or my mom." Spot stared at his empty bottle.

"So, your mom know you're…." Ray handed Spot his unfinished beer he'd set aside.

"I'm not sharing how she figured it out, but yeah, she knows. She's always taken me as I am no questions asked," Spot smiled. "and I love her for it."

-


	12. I've Never

I've Never

(_Random Snippet #11 Jack, David, Itey, Spot, Tony, and Ray_)

Spot glared at Jack, he was in no mood for his stupid ideas of fun; somehow though he found himself agreeing to it when Tony seemed all for the game. Spot supposed in the end it was in fact an icebreaker of sorts, still he didn't want to play it. He glanced to his side and studied Ray's face, he seemed very much interested in Jak Jak's idea too. So essentially he was the odd man out as Itey seemed for anything he was against, god he wished his mom would come home already.

"Okay," said Jack trying to sound authoritative, "basically you say something you've never done and if one of you've done it you drink. Plain and simple."

"You seem mighty proud of yourself there Jak Jak," said Spot sipping his beer.

"You get to start," said Jack pointing at him seriously.

Spot sighed and took a drink thinking for a moment, "I've never…found the opposite sex attractive."

Everyone took a drink, which made Spot feel completely and uncomfortably left out.

Ray was licking his teeth already six drinks in and feeling frisky, "I've never found anyone over the age of twenty three hot."

Everyone took a drink.

"I've never dated anyone that went to prison," said Itey smiling.

Both Spot and Ray drank.

"You've never dated _anyone_," said Spot glaring.

"Dude, you dated someone in prison?" asked Jack staring at Ray.

"A couple guys actually," stated Ray.

Tony just shook his head, "I've never…done drugs."

Spot, Itey, Jack, and Ray all took a drink.

David rolled his eyes, "I've never liked rap music."

Spot, Ray and Jack drank.

Jack proudly flung his hands in the air, "I've never sucked cock!"

Both Spot and Ray took a drink.

Everyone stared at them.

Tony stared at Spot, "No fucking way!"

Spot glared at Jack, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You did not!"

Jack covered his ears, "I don't want to hear about him blowing Rollercoaster."

"Jesus fucking Christ!"

"CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!"

Ray covered Spot's mouth, "It's fucking awesome so shut the fuck up."

Spot moved his hand, "I've never bailed on a relationship because I didn't want to work things out." Spot stared at Tony, "Well, _drink_ Tony."

"I didn't _bail_ on our relationship because of that, you were the one-"

"Ruining the game you guys," stated Jack.

Ray quickly thought of something, "I've never masturbated in a public place."

Spot and Jack took a drink.

"God you two are sick," said David taking a sip of his drink.

"I've never slept with someone older than me," said Itey.

Spot drank.

"I've never had someone come after me for drug money," said Tony.

Spot, Itey, and Ray drank.

"I've never gotten below a B minus on my report card," said David.

Everyone else but Tony drank.

"Hey, what's Pinky up to?" asked Spot drinking and trying not to stare at Ray who looked like was trying to deep throat his beer bottle after spilling some down the brim.

It got quiet around the table and Spot realized everyone was staring at Ray.

"Jesus, like what you see Jak Jack?"

"What? I wasn't staring! Who's turn is it? David?" Jack's entire face was red.

"Yours Jack," said David not looking away from his own beer bottle between his hands.

"OH! Uh, I've never…I've never…..finished a book in one bottle-hour I said hour!"

David was the only who drank, everyone else kind of laughed.

Ray finally looked up, "Huh? I've never not had sex I guess…." And he went back to licking his bottle.

There was a brief pause then finally Itey and David both took a drink.

"Oh my fucking god Itey? Really I mean Sparky yeah, I can see that, but you?"

"Not all of us just want to give it away to the first person we date," said Itey taking a long drink from his bottle.

"Ouch," said Ray clutching his chest, "that one hurts right here."

"Shut up you fucking drunk and find friends your own age you can hit on," said Itey glaring at Ray.

"I'm sorry I stopped listenin' after you opened your mouth," said Ray smiling.

"I've never thrown up after smoking my first joint," said Spot looking at Itey while he nudged Ray with his elbow.

Itey glared at Spot as he took a drink.

"Weak," said Ray laughing and leaning on Spot too much for Tony's liking.

"I've never let the person I was dating beat the living shit out of me just because I thought I was in love!..." Itey immediately regretted saying it, shock very much written on his face.

It was quiet for a minute then Tony quietly spoke, "I've never loved anyone more than the first person I dated."

Jack was the first person to reach for his bottle, then Ray, Spot reached for his bottle and just stared at it for a moment then without pause for breath he drank everything that was left in his. Spot immediately went to the kitchen to grab another.

Ray looked at Itey, "Are you for real?"

"I didn't mean to say that," hissed Itey at Ray.

"So his ex really beat him?"

"Hey, guess what? It doesn't concern you, it happened a long time ago. I'm surprised you took your mouth off your bottle long enough to even ask."

"Hey Shawn bring me another beer please!" he stared at Itey.

"Do I look like a fucking maid?" yelled Spot from the kitchen.

Jack and Itey both looked at Tony who was staring at Ray with a frown on his face, but it disappeared the second Ray turned his head.

David cleared his throat, "I've never been in a gang."

Spot smacked David on the back of his head as he walked by and Jack glared. Spot handed Ray a beer and then took his seat.

"Itey beer clack me," said Spot holding his beer near Itey.

Itey stared for a second then knocked his beer bottle against Spot's and smiled as they took a drink. He was very much happy that Spot was letting it drop for now.

Jack smiled proudly, "I've never lost my virginity to another guy."

Tony threw his shoe at Jack and Spot laughed as he took a drink.

"Okay, we need to not play this game anymore," said Tony.

"Fine we'll break for ten minutes," said Jack getting up.

"Thank god I needed a fucking smoke break," Spot jumped up and practically ran out the back door.

Ray was up and following him.

The second the door shut behind them Tony turned to look at Itey, "I hate the guy."

"Thank you!" said Itey thrusting his beer in the air triumphantly.

"I like him!" said Jack smiling.

"Of course you do," said Tony and David.

"They're just friends right? I don't get why you don't like him," said David sipping from his bottle.

"Because he's jealous Davey, that's why," said Jack smiling.

"Oh, I see," said David smiling at the expression on the other two's faces.

"I hate you too," said Tony taking his other shoe and throwing it.

"Sorry," David ducked and Jack blocked the shoe.

"They're always together it's annoying," said Itey.

"You've been an ass to him all night," said Jack looking at Itey.

"Aww I'm sorry, does that bother you? I don't care, he-"

"Is stealing your best friend," said Jack smiling finally figuring it out.

"That's not it," said Itey taking a drink.

Tony took a drink too before speaking, "I hate to say it too, but I think he's right."

Itey just rolled his eyes and kept drinking till his bottle was empty. The back door opened and Spot and Ray came in laughing.

"Okay," said Ray pulling a stack of cards from his pocket, "We're gonna play a little game called Kings Cup!"

And the night continued on in a drunken fashion.


	13. Hey, How You Been?

Hey, How You Been?

(_Random Snippet #12 Spot and Rollercoaster visitation_)

After going through all the security checks and waiting for what felt like an eternity Spot found himself sitting in front of none other than Armondo. For the life of him Spot couldn't figure out why he would got out of his way to come and see him after all that had been said and done. Mondo was still the exact same person he had always been, jealousy really did do numbers on people. They'd been sitting quietly in front of each other for over five minutes now saying absolutely nothing. That was the difference between paper and speaking, if you ran out of something to say when writing you could just put the paper away until you figured out what you wanted to talk about again.

"So….." Spot finally looked him straight in the face, "you look…..well."

"I might get out early for good behavior…" he kept glancing around every once in a while.

"How early is early?" Spot's eyes shifted around, feeling uneasy.

"Couple years early," he stretched as a guard was walking back who 'accidentally' bumped into him, the guard looked like he feigned annoyance but kept going on his way.

"You have some new tattoos," said Spot.

"An you ain't wearin' red," said Mondo smiling and Spot realized the feelings he had for this man would never go away.

"I hate you," said Spot looking Mondo straight in the eyes.

"Excuse me?" he frowned.

Spot dropped his voice, "All you've ever done is mind fuck me and time after time I just let you. And I have no idea why, isn't that fucking sad? I let you treat me like shit, you've verbally abused me, physically abused me and for what? So at the end of the day you could tell me not to tell anyone about us? So you could call me a fag? Say you'd fucking bash my skull in? Mondo, fucking god help me, it's sick but I still and will always have feelings for you. Tell me that's not wrong."

Mondo stared at him not sure what to do as Spot had never really gone off on him.

Spot just shook his head and smirked down at the table, "There was a time you used to be the center of my world Mondo."

"Use to?" he arched an eyebrow in that cocky manner.

"Ok, so you're still very much a part of it, but a lot's changed since you went in."

The visiting room was starting to filter out and soon it was the two of them and the guard. Spot had a feeling that Mondo and the guard were on 'friendly' terms with one another. He had a momentary thought that made of him think of the TV show Oz that use to play on HBO. Maybe prison really did work like that after all, but without all the extra crazy shit that happened.

Mondo looked at the guard and nodded his head once and Spot watched as the guard stood outside the room in front of the now closed door.

"Damn right I'm still part of it and when I get out I'll be in it," he stood up and half yanked Spot across the table and kissed him.

Spot for the life of him couldn't stop it let alone want to stop it. He was sure this would be bad for Mondo's image, then again the only window was on the door the guard was standing in front of blocking.

"Mondo stop," Spot shoved him away.

"Whatever go home," Mondo got up and walked to the door.

"Don't write me anymore. Nothing's going to change if you keep acting like you can control me and really it's not like you can keep track of everything I do. Let alone everyone _I've done_," said Spot smirking.

Mondo stopped and turned on Spot and shoved him against the wall, Spot immediately shoved him back then yanked him down by the collar and whispered into his ear.

"And he was a really good fuck," Spot swung the door open and walked out.

Mondo slammed his fist against the wall then walked out the room the guard following him. The two of them talking quietly to each other all the way down the hall.


	14. Somebody's Watching Me

Somebody's Watching Me

(_Random Snippet # 13 Spot gets a visitor_)

Spot woke to the sound of his mother knocking on his door. He glanced at his clock and frowned and pulled the blanket over his head. The knocking persisted till finally his mom just opened the door.

"Shawn, there's someone at the door for you," she stared down at his bed.

"Who?" mumbled Spot from under the blankets.

"I'm not sure, it's a Mexican boy maybe two inches taller than you, hazel eyes?"

"Am I dreaming 'cause a Mexican guy with hazel eyes? Sounds fucking hot," he sat up realizing what he had just said to his mother, "Uh I-I mean…..never mind."

"Your still not doing gang things are you?" she went into the living room.

"NO!" yelled Spot down the hall putting on pants and a Megaman T-shirt that Ray had bought him.

He walked down the hall to the front door and flung it open. There stood a Mexican guy with the most perfect tan he'd seen in his entire life. He looked like he belonged on a Mexican soap opera or an after person for Proactive.

"Fuck you're hot," said Spot looking him up and down, "Who are you?"

"Name's Ignacio, a friend of Rollercoaster's told me to keep an eye on you," he looked very serious about it.

"You do realize what's going on right?" said Spot smirking.

"He told me not to let you hang around some short dude."

"I'm his bitch, he wants you to make sure I don't fuck other guys," said Spot leaning against the door frame.

"Um, 'kay," he seemed confused.

"I'm gay… anyone ever tell you, you have nice eyes," Spot couldn't stop smirking.

"Yeah, a lot of people actually. Can you stop staring at me like that?" he pushed past Spot and stepped inside.

Spot just kept his back pressed against the doorframe lust very evident in his eyes, "Absolutely not."

"Nice place you got here," he poked at a few things.

"You visit a guy in jail on your day off and what does he do? Send someone to watch you," he headed to his room.

Ignacio reluctantly followed him a few minutes later not sure what else to do, "Oh shit sorry!"

Ignacio quickly walked back out the room.

"Oops, forgot to shut the door, my bad," Spot finished changing and motioned for him to follow him to the front door, "going to Ray's, mom."

"Love you Shawn!" she called from the kitchen the smell of food filling the house.

Spot stopped, "Love you too mom," then rushed outside.

Ignacio stared at him for a moment then pointed to a corvette, "Hop in."

"No shit?" Spot got in and immediately grabbed the GPS sitting on the dash and started punching in Ray's address, "This is like having a really hot chauffeur."

"Can you stop talking about how hot you think I am, it's uncomfortable," he started the car and followed the directions.

"You wish," said Spot opening the glove box, "jack pot! Condoms, how old are you?"

He leaned over and smacked Spot's hands and closed the glove box, "Old enough, stop touching my shit."

"So seriously how do you know Mondo?" Spot rolled down the window and stuck his hand out.

"He's a friend of my cousins. I ran with them a few times, Rollercoaster is like…._the_ shit," Spot could see the sheer admiration; he wondered if that's how he use to look when he thought of Mondo.

"He was," said Spot in a somewhat somber tone.

"Don't act like he's dead, he's just in prison. I mean, it comes with being in a gang an' all," he made a right turn, they were still ten minutes away from Ray's.

"Don't talk out your ass, you even know why he's in prison?" Spot scoffed.

"Attacked a few cops after trying to bust a cap in some dude who tried to cross him," he made another right onto a main road.

Spot outright laughed, "Are you fucking kidding me? He tried to kill my ex boyfriend because he was jealous. When the cops got there he dropped his gun and tried to fucking run, one of the cops tripped and the other got him, end of story."

"Ok, you need to stop shitting with me, I mean, its Rollercoaster, he is one badass mother fucker," he turned four blocks now from Ray's.

"One badass mother fucker who use to treat me like shit. You seriously never heard anything about a white boy who use to hang around him all the time?" if that were the case his relationship really had been the most pointless thing to happen in his existence.

"I figured they were all rumors from guys who….you guys didn't?...did you?" he looked very confused.

"Not sober at least," Spot felt sickly relived by Ignacio's words, "we were both stoned out of our minds."

"Well that's nothing new, most guys lose their common sense after a certain point," he pulled up to Ray's curb and parked.

"Oh really?" Spot smiled as he got out the car not waiting for him as he went to Ray's door and just opened it.

"Sweet, perfect timing- and you brought a delicious treat, fuck me you're hot!" he stuck his hand out, "Hi, name's Ray."

Ignacio looked disgusted as he bypassed his hand shake and subconsciously hid behind Spot. Not that he was any better off in doing so.

"So? Perfect timing for what?" he shut the door behind them and sat down at the card table now taking up space in the living room.

"Mom and dad are coming," he went into the kitchen and came out with two beers and sat down at the card table, "fake threesome?"

"Please don't put me through that again," said Spot taking the drink.

"I don't get one?"

"You didn't shake my hand," said Ray smiling at him.

"How old are you anyways?" asked Spot taking a long drink.

"I just turned seventeen," he stood by the couch.

"You're lucky I have a fire extinguisher," said Ray looking him up and down.

Ignacio frowned, "And why's that?"

"Cause you are smoking hot," Ray would not stop smiling.

"Hey where's your bathroom?" he nodded questioningly in the direction of the hall.

"Yeah that way, the doors open. If you don't want anyone coming in make sure to lock it!"

"He's not joking," said Spot as the two of them watched him go.

Ray immediately looked at Spot, "Can I?"

"Can you what?" asked Spot knowing where he was going.

"He _just_ turned seventeen, that's like, legal consenting age right?"

"That still doesn't make it _not_ illegal, besides I saw him first, but he's fucking straight."

"What ya need is a plan," said Ray seriously.

"Like what?"

"Pound a few drinks into him till he can't remember his name."

"It scares me how serious you are about that," said Spot contemplating hitting him.

"God he's hot, where the hell he come from?" he drained the rest of his beer quick.

"My felon ex-not boyfriend sent him to keep an eye on me to make sure I don't fool around with other guys. It's like a sick joke and the seventeen year olds gonna be traumatized," Spot drained half of his beer.

"….." they heard the bathroom door open, "I'm gonna get him a beer!"

Spot frowned then turned to look at Ignacio as he came into the room, "Be forewarned he's gonna try and get you drunk so he can take advantage of you."

"Euhh, why?" he walked over to the couch seat nearest Spot.

"You just so happen to meet his criteria."

"Mexican?"

"Barely if at all legal," Spot finished off his beer.

There was a knock at the front door so Spot stood up to open it, there stood Ray's parents. Ray's father looked like he never smiled.

"Hello, Shawn."

"Hey, he' s in the kitchen," he motioned them in and shut the door.

Ray walked back in three beers in hand, he immediately handed one to his dad then walked right over to Spot and kissed him, "thanks for gettin' the door babe."

Spot glared. Ignacio looked right in another direction, while Ray's mom smiled and his dad started drinking.

"Who's that other beer for?" asked Ray's dad.

"I'm double fisting it!" announced Ray proudly as he took long drinks from both bottles.

Spot smiled and Ignacio tried not to laugh. An hour and a half later Ray's parents had gone, his dad had had enough of Ray's behavior for the night and was very vocal about it. He outright called Ray a disgrace and implied that Spot was a coke dealing slut, which lead Spot to believe that Ray's dad was a light weight. Although he had been hitting the beers very fast, with each thing Ray did the more Ray's dad drank.

"Why do you do it?" asked Spot as he held Ignacio's head over the kitchen sink.

"Do what?" asked Ray sipping the last beer.

"Piss your dad off," stated Spot running his hand up and down Ignacio's back, partly to make him feel better, the other because he just wanted to touch him.

"Because he pissed me off a long time ago. Let me ask you a question, you've been texting Tony all night, right?" he looked down at Ignacio then back at Spot, "so what the hell are you doing?"

"It's not what you think, second of all _not_ your fucking business," Spot glared at him.

"It's no wonder you got such fucked up relationships," he rolled his eyes and headed out the kitchen towards his room.

"My relationships have _nothing_ to do with you! Nothing I do has _anything_ to do with you!" yelled Spot.

"I'm sure he got the point, stop screaming. I need some sleep," he started drinking straight from the tap.

"Yeah…no more drinking for you, you had like five beers and a shot?"

"Of Ever clear!" he stood upright and wiped his mouth heading for the front door.

"Yeah, you're not driving, give me the keys," Spot held out his hand.

"Like hell, you're not touching my car," he started to shove Spot causing himself to almost fall.

Spot caught him and immediately dug his hand down Ignacio's front pocket for the keys to the car, "I'm gonna take you back to my place, you can sleep on the couch."

Ignacio growled for a second and Spot fought the urge to say sexy like he always did when someone did it, "Fine."

"Sweet."

After they got to Spot's place he helped Ignacio into the house. Spot found his mom asleep on the couch, he supposed she just felt most comfortable sleeping there. He sighed and practically carried Ignacio to his bedroom and tossed him onto the bed. He yanked off his shoes and walked out the room and grabbed some spare blankets and settled in on the floor. Spot took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"…..it's Spot right?" came Ignacio's weak voice from the bed.

"…..Shawn," said Spot staring at the ceiling.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor, its your house."

"Yes I do, now shut up and go to sleep."

**-x-**

A/N: I don't know why I didn't get around to posting this, it's been done like a year ago. Ha, way to forget me!


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